she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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