Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize