I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
