i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
