can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize