That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
