If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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