I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
