ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
