Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
