The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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