theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
