We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
