I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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