i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
