you traded sex for a burrito?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
