i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
