i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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