Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
My liver just had a heart attack.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
