left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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