1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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