I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
