You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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