Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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