Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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