I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
