Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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