The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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