bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
