Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize