it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
