i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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