I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
