hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
