Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
