well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize