Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She even gives head with a lisp.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
