yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
