All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
