Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
