Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
