69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
