why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
