East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
