I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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