I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's never too late to be topless.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
