i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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