Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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