i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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