belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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