youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
