Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize