isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize