yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
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