this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
