It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
