college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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