The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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