just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
