I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
